Burst Balloons Tartan Army
Scotland all Over the World
You have found the website of the famous
Burst Balloons TA
It is our mission to bring enlightenment to those less fortunate than ourselves! We tour Europe, and beyond, providing economic relief...buying lots of beer!
Members can be seen in their distinctive blue polo-shirts, with the Burst Balloons TA logo. You might also see a Burst Balloon wearing our famous "Yellow Jersey". See our Hall of Shame for more details!
Who We Are?
The Burst Balloons are a group of Scotland supporters from across the country. We are not a formally constituted "club" or association, but a group of like-minded individuals who enjoy following our country.
Membership is by invitation only.
Paul (Captain)
Paul is the Captain of the Ship, and unoffocial tour convener. Paul is also well known for fondness for "wood"...the harder the better! He regularly travels all over Europe looking for good wood. He usually finds just what satisfies him...that's why he always has a wee smile on his face...
It is a little known fact that Paul also had a successful role in tv adverts for the directory enquiries service 118118, though has now retired to concentrate on getting wood.
I have been asked by his lawyers to point out that any resemblance between him and the porn stars from the 1970s is entirely coincidental, and that legal action will be taken against anyone who says otherwise. So there!
Dale (El Presidente)
Dale is the life and soul of the group. He is teetotal, and always sets a good example to the rest of the guys when on a trip. We look up to him, and always have lots to learn from him through observing his exemplary behaviour.
...aye right! Take a look at some of the photos on the site if you want to know the real Dale!
Dale also has the honour of having gained the most "Yellow Jersey" awards for outstanding performances on his various away trips with the BBs. following an excellent performance in Reykjavik in September 2008, he has now won the YJ a record SIX times. In a recent statement, Dale was quoted as saying "I can't wait to get my next yellow jersey...and am sure that it won't be long before I proudly wear it".
Bobby "Mr Bean"
Bobby "Mr Bean" is one of the most well known of Burst Balloons. Who knows why this is. It could be because he "borrowed" a full size cardboard cut out of Mr Bean from a dispay. Or perhaps because he has been known to wander Stansted Airport in the middle of the night shouting into a mobile phone. But maybe because he has a Prince Albert! Makes me wince just thinking about it, never mind actually having someone stick a needle in...ooyah! Apparently he needed 5 men to hold him down. Still, it's amazing how big a ring you can get in something so small...
George is better known as "Horse Balloon". Why, you might ask, "Horse"? Surprisingly, it's not because he's hung like one! Mind you, judging by recent events, his might be teflon coated! But no, he's called Horse because of his love of all things equine. Unfortunately, this doesn't extend to choosing winner in the 2.30 at Ayr racecourse! Obviously he loves kids...though we hear that sales of Southern Comfort have rocketed in Irvine!
Dr Death
Gary, aka Dr Death, has been with the Burst Balloons for the past 4 years. He's called Dr Death because he tends to look like death warmed up after a good drink. He's the official alcohol adviser to the BB's, as he is a consultant in Alcohol and Drug services in the NHS. He takes his work very seriously, and conducts alcohol research as much as he can in the different countries visited! One or two of the BBs could certainly do with his professional help! Gary has won the Yellow Jersey on three occasions...so far!
Tom Thumb
The wee man frae Elgin loves his vodka! He gets started with a few shorts, and after that he usually hits the bottle! Loves pizza - and has been known to eat his weight in pizza after a good bevvy. That's if he can keep his hands from shaking so much! That would be a small pizza then! Chris has been guilty of murder in the past - he murders songs when he gets the chance to grab a microphone. Keep him away from them! Surprisingly, in light of the above, he's never won the Yellow Jersey. A contender on many occasions, he usually ends up losing to Dale!
The BB formerly known as Hammy
Hammy, also known as "Barry", and lately known as "The Shopkeeper".
Why "The Shopkeeper", you ask? 
, well think about Mr Benn, the kid's cartoon show from the 60s/70s where, "...as if by magic, the shopkeeper appeared...". That's Hammy. He takes off for hours, days sometimes, and you don't see him. Then, all of a sudden, as if by magic, he's there at your shoulder! Usually when the drinks are coming in! A classic moment from Hammy came last year on one of our many flights. He had dozed off, and was woken by the stewardess when we began our descent. Asking him to "fasten your seatbelt", Hammy wakes with a startle and proceeds to fasten his kilt belt! Yep, that would have kept him safe in a dodgy landing!
Hammy has also had the misfortune of getting his face mashed in Estonia...by a bus. And yet he has managed to avoid the Yellow Jersey...hmm...what's the secret?! 
Adam (Junior Balloon)
Adam is the fruit of El Presidente's loins. We all wonder what kind of fruit though! More like a nut than a fruit! Do you get Buckfast Trees anyway?! He is young, and has got a lot to learn. But with role models such as The Captain, Scoop Sluman, and of course his dear auld faither, its only a matter of time before he adds to his tally of yellow jumpers. Mind you, he has a long way to go to catch up with his faither!
